Within the past six months I have had three wonderful people pass away from cancer. And as weird as this sounds i am glad that they did pass away from cancer because it gave me (and i am sure others) time to either get to know some better or gave me the ability to say good bye and to let them know what they meant to me. It maybe shocking for someone to say such a thing but if you really think about it passing like that is so beautiful and precious. Cancer is a horrible disease and not fun to watch but it is (to me at least) the most gracious way to die because (usually) it gives you time, and time is all we have. And just so you know no names will be given out of respect of those that have passed and their families but those of you that know me and my family (and when i say family i mean my friends too) you will know exactly who i am talking about.
The first to pass was someone that I did not know my whole life or even had much of a relationship with. However, that didnt make it any less hard having her go. She was so kind and warm and understanding. She would give someone the shirt off her back if someone asked for it because she knew she had another one at home but most importantly she made you feel like part of the family even if you had only entered into it for a short time. No matter how badly she was feeling she never refused your company and always made sure you were more than comfortable. She was a fighter her whole life and did it with such grace that I can not truly explain the loving feeling that you got from just being around her. She was my grad-school friends mom and an aunt by marriage but she was one of the greats in my eyes and an inspiration to single mothers and humanity in general. I am lucky to be apart of her family because they all have a piece of her in them and lucky to have known her, if only for a short while. Beautiful is the only word I can use to describe her.
The second one to pass may have been the hardest one for me and possible the most special. This woman took me in, trusted me with one of her most prized possession, gave me a job that helped me keep afloat in school, and gave me my heart back. She was like a second mother to me. The mother that never judged (well out load anyway), that you could be yourself around, and never had to lie to. Just knowing her made me a better person (and to many around her). She always believed that you never do something for someone expecting something in return. Not a difficult concept but hard to apply in real life...and she did it with such grace and perfection. I just thank god i got the chance to have let her know how much she meant to me within the 8 years that I was with her. She was the person that helped me develop into the last stages of my womanhood and I will never forget her grace.
The third is honestly what one would consider my idol. He was the smartest man I have ever come across so far in my life and probably will be the only. However, even though he was soooo smart, he had this ability to make you feel smarter than you thought you were just by talking to him. He never asked me a generic question even when I was a little girl and challenged and intrigued me as a person and a student that sitting down with him was much more fun than whatever the other kids and later on the other adults were doing. I would always know what kind of Christmas I was going to have depending if he was going to be there...if not I would be bored and quiet frankly ignored as the adults would talk about the same old stories...but if yes I knew that he would come up with some mind boggling question that would allow me to speak my mind and to show my opinion on worldly issues. He was the first person to treat me as a peer, an equal mind with its own thoughts and ideas. I will miss those conversations very much. He is the person that really got me into history but most importantly teaching because I want to be an inspiration like he was to me. He is my inspiration and i dare not disappoint him.
These are the things that I was able to learn from these people and was able to tell most of them. They each touched my life and lots of others as well. They say that the gods challenge those that are good...and in these cases they were the best. Suffering wasnt going to get them down and they were not ever going to give up without a fight and none of them ever did. At the funeral of my inspiration a quote was given: I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT AT LAST I WOULD TAKE THIS ROAD. BUT YESTERDAY I DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD BE TODAY.- NARIHIRA (9th century). Like them, this quote will always stay with me because even before cancer entered there lives they never wasted a moment of it. And when the cancer came they new what was ahead but never lived it like it was there last. But what they did know before their last was that they in one way or another were inspirations. Greatness is hard to define and I dare not try to define these three beautiful, gracious, inspirational people.
This blog is about my life, your life and everyone else's life as I see it. No one is safe from what i see and what I may say about them. From the lonely homeless woman walk down the street, to that kid picking his nose, you could be next. So sit back and enjoy my ride.
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